Anger
š·ļø TĆ o lao
A: What is anger?
B: Anger is a complicated emotion. It can feel reasonable and righteous, or impulsive and uncontrollable
A: Is it ever morally right to be angry? And if so, when?
B: One of the most foundational understandings of anger comes from Greek philosopher Aristotle, who proposed the idea called āthe doctrine of the meanā
A: What did Aristotle say in his model?
B: In this model, there is a sweet pot for actions and emotional reactions, and itās up to you to develop practical wisdom about when you should feel what and how strongly to feel it
A: Any example?
B: For example, letās say you are going to sleep early because you have an important meeting tomorrow, and your neighbor just started blasting music. If you canāt sleep, you might botch your meeting. So feeling angry is definitely understandable
A: How much anger should I feel? And what action if any should I take?
B: To answer these questions, Aristotle would need to know more detail. Have you previously talked to your neighbor about this issue? Is it a reasonable time to be playing music? Is your neighbor trying to antagonize you or are they just enjoying their evening? Relying on practical wisdom in Aristotleās case-by-case approach makes a lot of sense for navigating interpersonal conflicts
A: But what about when thereās no one to blame for my anger? Imagine a tornado completely destroys my house and my neighborās home is untouched. No amount of anger can undo the disaster and there isnāt really a suitable target for my frustration
B: Life is like an uncontrollable cart that weāre all tied to. You can either learn to go with the flow or hurt yourself by fighting its momentum. We all live at the whims of fate, and our actions can never actually change things, whether itās a natural disaster or others act towards us.
A: So is anger an inevitable experience?
B: Experiencing anger is a natural part of human psychology, that helps you communicate blame and hold each other accountable. Even if itās hard for us to control our anger, there might be something we can learn from it
A: What do you mean?
B: Anger can be an important part of letting us know when something immoral is happening. So removing it would impair our social lives and moral communities
A: If it canāt be avoided, how should I respond when it happens?
B: It can be tricky. Giving yourself over to even the most righteous anger can lead one to become bitter, vengeful, or hateful of others. You should carefully calibrate your emotional responses to ensure you see others not as enemies but as community members with whom you must learn to coexist, regardless of your ever-changing emotions